Breaking news that makes me sad to my daughter is never easy. Her face looking so heartbroken is usually enough for me to do anything to make her happy again.
Unfortunately, today, I realized that I can't do that. For nearly two years, I've been trying to conform my needs to the demands of another - making myself repeatedly miserable in order to appease that other.
Even after crying sessions and lots of hugs from close friends today, what made everything pretty crystal was having to explain it to Alex.
"We broke up."
"In real life?"
(now I'm not sure what she meant by that... but I answered the question anyway)
"Yes."
Tears sprang to her eyes.
"Why?"
And here was when it all made sense to me.
"We just have different priorities in life. You can still be friends with him and send him notes on the computer - I'm not going to keep you from doing all that. I just can no longer be in a relationship with him."
Granted, I'm still sad and have constant tears in my eyes. But I also know that I made the right decision. I wish it hadn't been made in anger, but it was and I can't take that back. I know what's important in life and what will keep me strong.
I'm watching Alexandra work on her homework and about to plunge into my thesis. Our work is important, yes. However, the love I have for my daughter, the love she has for me, that's what life is all about.
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