Is 32 too old to go "emo"?

Fourteen years ago, I fell in love with a vampire.  Brad Pitt stole my heart in the movie version of "Interview With A Vampire" - and I was hooked.  I could still probably recite the entire film.  

A few years later, I began reading the Anne Rice books and found myself immersed within worlds of witches and vampires - living so well amongst the rest of the world.  I read every book she wrote - and I think owned them all too.  I'm still regretting the fact that a few of those books got sold in a yard sale just prior to my moving to Illinois.  

However, they were in that yard sale for a reason.  I'd outgrown such romantic fantasies as vampires and I was a much more practical adult moving on with her life.  Those that didn't sell got packed up with the rest of my books - those that did, I hope they bring joy to whomever is reading them now.  

I'm too much of a grown up to be pulled into such wonderfully fictitious worlds.  

A few months ago I started seeing all these mentions of "Twilight" scattered around Facebook.  Ah, the next teenage girl thing, I thought.  A movie based on a young adult book - yeah, there's such a dearth of those.  

Then the buzz reached some of the undergraduates I know.  Okay - they're still fairly young, though, right?  I'm above such things.

Then the buzz landed on a friend, older than me, in an administrator position.  She lent me her copy - which landed in a pile of books that "I'll get to when I have the time."  It sat there.

Twilight, the movie, was released on Friday to scores of lines and sold out theatres.  By now, I knew it was a teen vampire flick; the book remained unread, unopened, now in a box that moved with us into our new home.  

I agreed to succumb to the hype to watch the movie 

- vampires can be a pleasant distraction, right?  

Saturday show, 4:00 pm.  Lots of previews and then....

It's now 4:03 on Sunday afternoon.  Exactly 24 hours ago, I was settling in to my seat at the movie theatre, about to watch a fun vampire movie.  In the past 24 hours, I've watched the movie, read the entire first book, dreamed of my own personal vampire, and become obsessed with the book's main character.  I won't run to the movies practically every night for the next three weeks (okay, yes, I MAY have done that with Interview With A Vampire) - but I'm anxiously awaiting the movie's release onto dvd and I may allow Alex to see the movie (so I can watch it again).  I am, however, jonesing for the second book...

So how is it that this movie has thrown me with such vehemence back into my vampire lust of ten years ago?  The book is excellent, I think.  While the story is centered around the angst that is adolescence, I think the writing is more compelling than I remember Rice's series.  

My solution to my obsession?  

Well, I want to read read read - which I don't really have a problem with.  

And then shrug and embrace it.  

Since the only other option is to dye my hair black and attain a level of "emo" that I would never have even reached at the peak of my emotional youth, I'm already practicing my shrug.

A Quick Word to the Wise...

While I'm always a fan of a good movie, I discovered that there is a time and a place for all such movies.  That is, even good movies should be watched only in an appropriate context.

I'm a single mom - and as such, I spend most of my time (when we're not in school, that is) with my darling daughter.  Tonight, however, Alexandra is at a sleepover birthday party.  She went home after school with her friends and will be picked up tomorrow morning around 11am.  I haven't seen her since dropping her off at school this morning.  On days like today, I miss the little kid.  

I decided tonight, though, that I could go see a movie without Miss Alex - a grown up movie.  I'd wanted to see "The Changeling" since discovering that Jeffrey Donovan was in it - and this was my chance.  I roped a friend into seeing it with me and we planned for the 10pm showing.

This is where I should have done a little more planning, or at least reconnaissance, before going to this movie tonight.  

Don't get me wrong - it was a really good movie.  Donovan played a prick, yes, but whenever I see him, I picture him doing situps up an incline and eating blueberry yogurt.  I love that guy.  Jolie was good as well, as was Malkovich, but I have my favorites....

I digress - this was not the movie to see on a night when I don't have my daughter.  A movie based on an unsolved missing child case is never a good idea on nights when she's not safely tucked in bed in the room next to mine.  

Now What?

I spent the past three months anxiously (no, not in a good way) anticipating my phonetics presentation of Dutch.  I finished that yesterday.  I also had to put together a micro teaching demonstration in French - did that this morning.  My thesis has been looming over my head for a year and a half and I am now at the end - I'm defending in about three weeks (probably a little less).  I'm sitting at Panera, having soup for dinner with Alexandra, before a Girl Scout council meeting ... and it just hit me.

Now what?

Of course, life goes on and I need to keep looking for gainful employment (emphasis on that gainful part) and what not.  I still have a paper and a bunch of smaller assignments that I need to get done over Thanksgiving break, as well as my pre-defense revisions - but all of a sudden I feel as though a rather large weight has been lifted from me.  I fear that it may be that all my stresses have finally numbed me?  

I guess that I'll just take this moment - be it fleeting or lasting - and savour the hugs and snuggles from Alex, the facepainting decorating my right hand, the sourdough goodness encompassed by chicken and wild rice soup.  I'll go to this meeting, then go home and enjoy the peacefulness that is my existence this evening.

I may actually take tonight to read for ... wait for it ... PLEASURE.

"The Holidays" are approaching...

... and no.  I'm not the least bit freaked out.  Okay, maybe a little.  

I just have to keep reminding myself that the lowering gas prices are going to make it all better.  After all, isn't that what this latest attempt at economic stimulus is supposed to do?  It's no longer over $40 to fill my car's tank.  Yesterday I did it for under $20.  Is that enough to really help people, though?

I suppose the extra $20 is a boon and all - and it does relieve a certain amount of anxiety.  I'm still on the hunt for another job, though - not to replace but to supplement my current employment.  

So with all this economic malarkey (and really, what else can it be called, the present US economy), Thanksgiving and Christmas and all that are just around the corner.  Alexandra and I will not be having Thanksgiving dinner with our family this year - the trip back to CT would be too much of a hardship financially, not to mention the annoyance of the long trip, the missed school for Alex, and the stress of moving a veritable zoo of animals 1000 miles for a week.  

We're cool with that, though, and are planning to have friends over to our house for the holiday.  I'm not making the turducken I'd originally proposed - especially not after finding out how expensive those are!  A traditional turkey, with Kylie's special stuffing, will suffice as the main course.  

What we're doing for Christmas, however, is still up in the air.  As Starbucks won't be offering me any hours while they're closed for break, the viability of remaining in Illinois for the break is ... well, slight.  I guess it all hinges on whether I find another job today.  My day's goals do include filling out some applications.  It was pointed out to me, though, that the ever-decreasing gas prices will at least make the trip more affordable than I'd originally planned.  

All will be okay, I know - but I'd prefer to live without such stress.

... at least Alex just wants Uno and Scrabble for Christmas :-)

Do I Expect Too Much?

I was explaining to someone today how Alexandra was so offended that she couldn't vote - how it really wasn't fair that adults who don't know who Obama and McCain were could vote while she couldn't, even though she'd been following the races since before the primaries, because she's seven years old.

"Why doesn't that surprise me, coming from your daughter?"

I advocate social responsibility - and I do so in my daughter.  Voting is a privilege that should be cherished - and something to be viewed, not as a chore, but an opportunity.  

I hope that I'm instilling such values within Alexandra.

I was more than a little shocked to be confronted with so many people today who had not voted and were not going to vote - and who were not even registered to vote.  

I guess I shouldn't take offense at the flippant remark - after all, she is a politically aware and socially responsible child - and a child of whom I am extremely proud.

Are You a US Citizen? VOTE ON TUESDAY!

About a month ago, I commented to Alexandra (who has been very invested in the Obama campaign since Clinton removed herself from the democratic race) that she wasn't able to vote in this election.  There were many tears and she raised some good points - she's paid attention to the newscasts, the debates, the candidates.  She knows who she supports.  Why can't she vote?  

The day before, I'd overheard someone talk about who they were going to vote for: "you know, that guy who elected that woman for president."  How could I then disagree with her words?  She knew more about what was going on in US politics than adults who would be voting.

She'll be with me as I cast my vote in the morning.  She'll also get to vote in a mock election tomorrow at her school.  Her vote, however, won't be counted in the general Presidential election.  

I have family on the other side of the world - some of whom have pointed out how, really, unfair it is that the whole world can't vote in the US Presidential elections.  While it's true that our president is OUR president and so should only be elected by the US citizenry, our choice has repercussions that are felt throughout the world.  There truly are people all over the world who would like to be able to vote in this election.

I received an email today from moveon.org.  I'm not a huge fan of moveon.org - I've just been too lazy really to unsubscribe from their emails.  However, I really appreciated today's email:

Dear MoveOn member,

You don't live in Ohio. You don't live in Florida. The chance is pretty small that Illinois will decide the presidential election. So: Why vote?

Here's why. This list is important—so please read it, and then pass it along. And remember: To find out where to vote, what you need to bring, or when the polls close, click here: www.voteforchange.com.

The Top 5 Reasons To Vote In Illinois 
Or: Why It Still Means A Thing Even If It Ain't Got That Swing

1. Big margin = big mandate. The popular vote doesn't put anyone in the White House, but it affects what presidents can do when they get there. Want Obama to be able to actually do the stuff he's been talking about? Pass universal health care? End the war? Then we need a landslide.
   
   
2. The other things on the ballot matter! For example: Congress. Without more support in the House and Senate, Obama will have a hard time getting progressive laws passed. Plus, there are other important local races and ballot questions in some places. 
   
   
3. If you don't vote, everyone can find out. Voting records are public. (Not who you voted for, justwhether you voted.) Pretty soon, finding out whether you voted could be as easy as Googling you.
   
   
4. Help make history. You could cast one of the votes that elect the first African-American president. If we win, we'll tell our grandchildren about this election, and they'll tell their grandchildren. Do you really want to have to explain to your great-great-grandchildren that you were just too busy to vote in the most important election in your lifetime? 
   
   
5. People died so you'd have the right to vote. Self-government—voting to choose our own leaders—is the original American dream. We are heir to a centuries-long struggle for freedom: the American revolution, and the battles to extend the franchise to those without property, to women, to people of color, and to young people. This year, many will still be denied their right to vote. For those of us who have that right, it's precious. If we waste it, we dishonor those who fought for it and those who fight still. 
   
   Live your values. Love your country. Vote.

I can't stress enough how much I want everyone to go vote tomorrow.  While I have my own opinions as to who to vote for, I'm not even asking that everyone go vote for the candidate I support.  I really just want to stress over and over and over that we should all get out to vote.  I've pointed out in previous blogs the struggles women went through in years past to get us the right to vote - now I'm pointing out the privilege we all have in being able to vote tomorrow.  Take advantage - be proud of what we're able to do - VOTE.